Sex Vixens from Space Review

SEXY SEXY SEX.

(I had left my camera in Leeds for this video, and filmed this on a potato)

Text adventure games used to be all the rage. Obviously, because there wasn’t much else you could do when it came to graphics. If you’re going to make a sexy game, you’re gonna need to rely on text only – that’s what those awful Mystique games on the Atari 2600 taught us.

Sex Vixens from Space was created in that awkward time between graphics being non-existent and starting to be actually quite nice. Rather than wait a bit so that pixelated breasts might to actually resemble breasts, the creators of this game were just too eager to share their wankfest with the world and went ahead with some utterly awful graphics.

Graphics aren’t everything – a good game doesnt need to have good graphics. But when the entire point of your game is to get people sexually aroused, it’s going to help if the men or women you’ve illustrated are actually…identifyable as human beings.

The story is that you’re some bloke who’s main focus in life is getting his end away. He has to wander around space looking for women to get with. Which I suppose is one argument for Tinder, if nothing else.

I wouldn’t say as a text adventure game it’s even that bad – but the humour is awful, even for a game of its era. The jokes are so lame. And the graphics on the women…I honestly can’t beleive anyone was wanking to that. And that’s bearing in mind that anyone playing this game was fully expecting it to only be playing it with one hand.

5/10

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