Category: Blog

The Begining of the End (TRIGGER WARNING – account of abuse)

This has been one of those weeks. It’s been hard. I’ve been at the bottom of a pit. And honestly, I have no idea what to do.   Continues after the jump…(trigger warning)                           When I was about 7 years old – I […]

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ISayItsNotOkay

A video caught my attention on Twitter today that made me cry. I am too old to cry at a video. But I cried all the same. It’s an awareness advert regarding the kind of harassment that women get from a young age. And, I hate to sound so whiny, but everything in the video […]

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Impostor Syndrome

The first time I came across the phrase “impostor syndrome”, I was sat with my friend ‘D’ at university a couple of months ago. We were talking about how to get into the games industry, when he suddenly became pale and put in his earphones. Knowing he has an anxiety disorder, I left him to […]

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My Odd Relationship with Alcohol

I’m making yet another conscious decision to cut down my alcohol consumption. This is approximately the 100 millionth time I have made this decision, and it’s always the last time, yes yes really it is and I’m totally not going to relapse this time. While I would not consider myself an alcoholic, I do have […]

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I’m writing a self help book.

One of my friends who I made through Digitiser is one of those people who seems to really have their goals sorted. Imran, in his late 30s, is very successful in the creative arts and I must admit, when I first met him I was incredibly intimidated. People who are headstrong and focused make me […]

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Anxiety Central

I’ve been trying to think of just one aspect of my life that isn’t affected in some manner by anxiety. And I can literally not think of a single thing. I tend to usually go about my day with a sort of soft, underlying feeling of dread no matter where I am or what I’m […]

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[Sad Post] What Do I Mean when I Say I’m Suicidal

The first time I had serious thoughts about taking my own life, I was 15. I wasn’t expecting to do it, but I remember one evening sat in my bedroom thinking about what would be the easiest way to do it. School was a nightmare for me. I had reached that age where sexuality starts […]

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My Most-Played Game

One of the things I’ve been studying in my MA is playability – or the science of our addiction to video gaming. I’ll be honest, I have the attention span of a goldfish so I sort of read the books about it without actually taking much info in, but it got me thinking about the […]

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Back to Life <3

I’m back doing Octav1us, starting with a new review uploaded shortly. I’ll do a little catchup video too <3 I think the main problem I had was that I was looking at my videos and critiquing them as if this is actually my full time job, and therefore they should be perfect. It isn’t, it’s […]

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The Final Straw

I think one of the biggest struggles I have with slowly approachingĀ a small bit of notoriety online is knowing that, as a female, I’m going to have to have a much thicker skin than I would need if I was a bloke. In normal day to day life, I’m used to getting heckled on the […]

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