ISayItsNotOkay

A video caught my attention on Twitter today that made me cry. I am too old to cry at a video. But I cried all the same.

It’s an awareness advert regarding the kind of harassment that women get from a young age. And, I hate to sound so whiny, but everything in the video that happened to the female actors happened – and happens (although not so much now I am getting old) – to me. Aside from, to my knowledge, the up-skirting bit.

The first time I had someone address me inappropriately due to my gender was when I was 7 years old. I remember, I was wearing a pink dress and running down a train aisle after having gone to the toilet. My dad and my brother were in the next carriage, I had been trusted to go by myself.

There were four or five lads who I’m guessing were in their late teens – certainly no younger than 18 – because they had beer cans in front of them. One of them had rested his legs across the aisle and as I approached, he didn’t make a move to remove this barricade. So, I stood politely waiting.

“Hello little girl,” One of them said cheerfully.

The one who was blocking my way laughed, and said “show us your knickers, little girl.”

All but one of them guffawed at this – he said “Stop it will you, she’s just a little girl.”

The young man blocking my way moved his legs, and I ran along the rest of the aisle. I remember specifically pulling down the back of my dress. I didn’t know exactly why I didn’t want him to see my knickers, I just knew I didn’t want him to.

I remember blushing and being flustered when I got back to my dad. He asked what was up, I said nothing, he got angry – as he often did when I wouldn’t say what was wrong – and I think I spent the rest of the journey home doing a jigsaw.

There’s other incidents which happened when I was too young to understand. But that’s the first time I remember feeling embarrassed to be female. I never wore the pink dress again.

7 thoughts on “ISayItsNotOkay

  1. I think that what happens quite often is they use this to mask their own insecurities.. either that or they are just knobs.. or both. Regardless it has a long lasting effect on people’s lives (especially young girls) and in the end they actually don’t feel any better for venting crude and unjust remarks or behaviour on anyone else. It’s sad. Very sad.

    1. Thank you for sharing. I agree with paul.
      Its sad that this HAPPENS and does leave a last effect.

  2. TAKE YOUR DAMN CLOTHES ORF!!!! — i agree it’s not just the harvey wankstains of this world.

  3. is it cool if I rip this PIF apart since that is what i do on my youtube channel? How long has this shit become a problem that a Pif had to be made? I thought that one Indian bus sexual harassment video was creepy. this made that look small potatoes, the kids show not the expression

  4. This is not acceptable behaviour. I’m all for freedom of speech and civil liberty, but you can’t sexually harass a child.
    My other half had similar experiences as a child, and the damage such things leave behind is obvious to someone intimate.

  5. I really hate how thoughtless people are in society sometimes. THE guys on the train probably thought it was just some silly joke, but an event like that can really mess with someone’s head and ultimately affect their whole life. Why can people not just stop and think about they’d feel if the roles were reversed??

    Fortunately, this can work in a positive way too. Sometimes even just a throwaway compliment or something small like holding a door open for someone can really make someone’s day. Can we do more of this instead please?

  6. The guys on the train were drunk and being a-holes… I’ve found that a lot when I travel via train. People get drunk and feel that they can act like knobs… glad that one of them actually had the moral decency to talk his friend down… I’m sorry that that happened to you, and I can understand why you feel changed by it. Things that happen in our past can change us so dramatically. X

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